My epiphany.

Alright, so this blog is for those of you who are close to me, instead of repeating the story a bunch of times to each of you, I'll just post it here.

So my boyfriend (James) is a grad student at Columbia, and he will be graduating in May. We have been dating just over a month now and it was an incredible month, really. We were swept up in a romantic whirlwind, just like a fairy tale, love at first sight. Amazing, really. Things did go quite quickly, because we spent a lot of time together and realized we were in love almost immediately. This was great when we were in our bubble, but when you're a grad student, as he is, you need to focus on your work or you'll have to pull several all-nighters in one week. Not good.

So long story a bit shorter, the past week has been him explaining to me how he needs to focus on getting a job and finishing school right now, because if he doesn't give school his all, there may be no job, and he may not stay in NYC. So let's all hope he gets an amazing job that lets him stay here. Please...so we agreed that the best thing to do would be to slow it down. More than just seeing each other merely once a week, we finally (after many tears, frustration and confusion) decided that we will go back to that "first dating mentality", trying to go back to just dating before things got super serious. How do you do this when you're already in love? I don't know. But that's what we are doing...trying, anyway. The only other options we could think of were 1) being "just friends" for a while (which I could NOT do, could anyone be friends with someone they're already in love with?) or 2) break up (which would be horribly unfair and heartbreaking and ugh...I don't even want to think about it)...

Anyway. We are trying this. I'm willing to stick with him until he's ready to get serious again, and hopefully we can stick together. So finally, getting to my "epiphany"...

I guess you could sort of call it "our song"..."Love Story" by Taylor Swift (who I found quite annoying at first, but her songwriting is really very good) was stuck in my head for about 2 weeks straight when we first started dating. I had him listen to the song on our second date, and since then, he's my Romeo and I'm his Juliet. :) So anyway, I love the song and we have a fairytale romance, so it works. It is fitting.

And then when I was at work tonight, I started singing the song in my head and realized that it perfectly fits this situation. Perfectly. "This love is difficult, but it's real. Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess, it's a love story, baby just say yes..." I've been trying to keep a positive outlook on everything and truly believe that whatever is meant to be will happen. So now that I know this song will help me through it, I'll have a bit more incentive to be patient and understanding.

I also should mention I bought a guitar and will spend the next couple months learning how to play. And the first song I am learning is this one...I already have the sheet music :)

And for your enjoyment, the music video (including lyrics on-screen)...enjoy!

.jmm.